Okay peoples!! 
BIIIIIG partay time on thursady avec alcohol??? 
What shall I drink? 
Ideas so far: 

gin with sliline tonic ?
one red wine (healthier than white) ?
rum with diet coke? 
vodka with lime mix?  
vodka with tomato juice?

I want to get merry but not fat!!! 
I dn't drfink normally so any advice on taste welcome too 
larve yous 
xxxxx

Well what can I say... a lot can happen in a month for one my binging has still continued less frequent but still there, two I've ended up on anti-depressants for anxiety and three I have a therapist. 
I don't actuialy know exactly how much weight I have lost but it is not enough... I'm also finding it far too hard to accept the concept of safe foods, no food seem safe at the moment. 
My family also know about my disorder too... i have to admit as of this last week I have controlled the binging again but got to that stage of scared to touch any food. I explained all this to my grandad yesterday (as I live with them) he looked like he going to cry as I sat explaining what was going through my head, I was honest and said i still want to loose weight i do not know if this was wise or not though. 
I also keep getting urges to go to the supermarket and buy food, but if i do i know ill eat it or throw it down the toilet. I need safe food and a regimented diet again. 
Like i said I have been here once before but as i was living at home i lived in fear of tea all my life whereas know if i eat it really doesn't matter i can fast for days after. Which is not the approach to go for. 

Safe food: 

low fat cream crackers (im still weary of this one and may cut it out)
salsa 
apples 
weetabix/bran flakes (again weary of) 
celary 
coffee 
tea 
jelly (low sugar) 
fat free yoghurt 
lettuce 
tomotoes 

so from this i could have 
breakfast: one weetabix plus an apple 
dinner: an apple and yoghurt 
tea: lettuce, tomotoes, cream cracker and salsa 

perfect!!! 

Morning my darlings!! 

Ok I was all know yesterday was binge fest (well meal-forced fest) of the century for my goodself and unfortunatly as I had to take a journey back hime last night I was also forced to eat breakfast too.... 
This is going to seem pointless to you guyd but I don't care EVERY time I eat, I am going to post it on here and state what I've eaten... 
So you're going to become effectivly my food diary... sounds stupid but it may help... 
So if you don't hear from me (but you will anyways coz i talk like no tomorrow- as my poor little buddy is discovering) then assume I'm doing well.... or in uni.... or at the gym.... 
Then you shall be updated as and when I'm at my lappie!!! 

Ok.... 
This morning 

One weetabix (ha cunning they thought I had two)... 60 cals
Half an apple... 38 cals?
Dribble of milk... 5 cals? 
two cups of tea (least bit of milk you can imagine!!!)... 10 cals? 

So I reckon what... 113 cals there...? 

I'm aiming for no more cals... other than tea today..... 
mwah darlings 
xxx 

plus off to the gym now to burn 500 cals on machines then do a few weights and 500 crunches....